What a beautiful post. The shame piece is a big one for me, too, with my marketing. It's something I've only recognized recently. It'd been running the show for a decade ?? More than that I think.
I wonder what might change now that I can see it. I am hoping recognizing the shame is a bigger step than we may realize. I also wonder it's there with your students. In fact that's what helped me see my shame -- it was through what my students were saying and the marketing they were receiving. I realized that just like them I was being kept in my shame by algorithms and targeted ads, just as they were with their English learning and sense of not progressing enough. I learned these tricks when I helped people for a minute as a health coach - bc the diet industry feeds on people stuck in shame. But I didn't realize I was in it until maybe 1 month ago. How long have you been aware of the shame for you? Do you see it in your students, too?
Thank you so much for sharing this and I look forward to hearing more if you feel like continuing to write about it. I have been toying with the idea of writing about it, too, and you've helped make me want to. Thank you! See you!
Hi, Molly! Thank you for your thoughtful, vulnerable, and thought inspiring observations. I agree that shame is probably more pervasive in the people in our lives than we (or they) may realize. I am mostly familiar with cultures of the northern hemisphere, and the western side (although I am also familiar with Europe and a fair amount of Asia). Based on my familiarity, shame seems to be a source control, especially over youth and marginalized people (perhaps is the mechanism for that marginalization). And, because it is often instilled when we are too young to be aware of it objectively, it can become an integral part of our adaptation to what is overwhelming (which, when we are young, and most others are older and more powerful, most "others"). It can become a deeply embedded – and therefore automatic – emotional reaction that we may not be aware of. And even when we are, because of its deep structure in our psyche, it is difficult to cope with. For me, it mostly takes the form of "I am not capable". And I see that a lot in music and theatre students. And, when they don't have that block, they can be delightfully (almost disarmingly) free to play, experiment, and enjoy themselves doing things that can cause resistance, fear, even anxiety in the rest of us.
I hope you do write about this idea yourself! I look forward to more of your thoughts about it.
I appreciate hearing that! I tend to be serious, but I also have a (admittedly dry) sense of humour. Wistful is something different than that. I also appreciate the multi-dimensional aspects of your writing. You are an excellent example of that for me!
What a beautiful post. The shame piece is a big one for me, too, with my marketing. It's something I've only recognized recently. It'd been running the show for a decade ?? More than that I think.
I wonder what might change now that I can see it. I am hoping recognizing the shame is a bigger step than we may realize. I also wonder it's there with your students. In fact that's what helped me see my shame -- it was through what my students were saying and the marketing they were receiving. I realized that just like them I was being kept in my shame by algorithms and targeted ads, just as they were with their English learning and sense of not progressing enough. I learned these tricks when I helped people for a minute as a health coach - bc the diet industry feeds on people stuck in shame. But I didn't realize I was in it until maybe 1 month ago. How long have you been aware of the shame for you? Do you see it in your students, too?
Thank you so much for sharing this and I look forward to hearing more if you feel like continuing to write about it. I have been toying with the idea of writing about it, too, and you've helped make me want to. Thank you! See you!
Hi, Molly! Thank you for your thoughtful, vulnerable, and thought inspiring observations. I agree that shame is probably more pervasive in the people in our lives than we (or they) may realize. I am mostly familiar with cultures of the northern hemisphere, and the western side (although I am also familiar with Europe and a fair amount of Asia). Based on my familiarity, shame seems to be a source control, especially over youth and marginalized people (perhaps is the mechanism for that marginalization). And, because it is often instilled when we are too young to be aware of it objectively, it can become an integral part of our adaptation to what is overwhelming (which, when we are young, and most others are older and more powerful, most "others"). It can become a deeply embedded – and therefore automatic – emotional reaction that we may not be aware of. And even when we are, because of its deep structure in our psyche, it is difficult to cope with. For me, it mostly takes the form of "I am not capable". And I see that a lot in music and theatre students. And, when they don't have that block, they can be delightfully (almost disarmingly) free to play, experiment, and enjoy themselves doing things that can cause resistance, fear, even anxiety in the rest of us.
I hope you do write about this idea yourself! I look forward to more of your thoughts about it.
great thoughts! A little more wistful than usual?
Well, it started that way, yes. And that's the way the story unfolded, especially upon reflection. Too wistful? Out of balance?
I liked that wistful aspect. It added a level of interest and revealed something of yourself.
I appreciate hearing that! I tend to be serious, but I also have a (admittedly dry) sense of humour. Wistful is something different than that. I also appreciate the multi-dimensional aspects of your writing. You are an excellent example of that for me!
Thank you, Paul.
A beautiful, simple reminder. Thank you, Paul
"Beautiful" coming from a wide-ranging creative person like you is high praise! Thank you, Allen!